What Can You Say

I'm overwhelmed. The war in this man's psyche is no longer subconcious. It's, like, superconcious. I can't believe he's not aware of it.

But seriously, seeing something like this makes me sad. There are dozens of things you can say, all of them as intelligent as anything else. They have probably all been said already, by people who are cleverer than me. I'm going to take a different tack, and say that I think this is sweet and nice. Like Congressman Major Owens (who will rap his last rap as this congress ends) this is a man who has put himself out there in public with absolutely no self awareness.

Sure, he makes little jokes, as the captions of his fashion photos. But they're the kind of jokes your father might make if he found himself in that position. They don't suggest that he understands the full, sublimated horror of what he is doing. Like here. (Because I am a creep, I am also going to take the opportunity to poke fun at his cats, which are actually A) a weasel and B) a computer printout of a cat.)

Most of these dolls have ugly leers, but some of them seem to have pensive or rueful expressions. The bored dolls are certainly less ridiculous, dressed up and posed. But actually buying one, mindful of what you're buying it for? That's just wheels within psychosexual wheels. But there I go. Making fun of someone like this is nothing but the psychic mugging of an unarmed man.

So, as we back off shyly, let me just note that if you bought a Real Doll, you could probably have a lot of fun using it to play practical jokes, using a video camera to capture people's responses to a motionless, leering person. But is that pastime any cleaner, from a Freudian perspective? One way or another, you're not going to spend thousands of dollars on a fake woman unless you have "issues". The owner of this webpage is no worse than the rest of us, and that is absolutely the last I am going to say about him and his Doll Coffeeshop.