Invent Later
The great thing about America is that anybody can have a website. I have a website, and you probably have a website, and now the Patent Office, in association with the shadowy Ad Council, has a website too.
InventNow.org is a bizarre attempt to drum up business in the patent office by appealing to our nation's worst inventors: Children. When I first saw the web ad for InventNow, I thought perhaps it was designed to hector computer scientists and mechanical engineers, a testy reminder from the American government that we pay you to invent. Invent now!
But no, the government has decided to focus its energies on children, with come-ons like, "have you been thinking about the next big thing in skateboards?" Sure, every self-respecting child has been thinking about the next big thing in skateboards, but to what end? Few children have drill presses or lathes in their workshops, few children know how to draft blueprints, and I feel comfortable saying that there will never be a "next big thing" in skateboards. They work fine already.
I think the website knows in its heart that children can't invent. Suggestions range from not-really-inventions ("Invent" a new sport! "Invent" a way to tell that spring is coming!) to the hilariously difficult ("A car that doesn't use gas." Hey GM: Invent now!). There's not much middle ground.
Bearing that in mind, and the likelihood that any child who does InventNow will be swallowed alive by patent attorneys, perhaps it would be safer for the wee ones to focus on the "trademark" side of the US Patent and Trademark Office. Have you been thinking about the next big thing in catch phrases?
InventNow.org is a bizarre attempt to drum up business in the patent office by appealing to our nation's worst inventors: Children. When I first saw the web ad for InventNow, I thought perhaps it was designed to hector computer scientists and mechanical engineers, a testy reminder from the American government that we pay you to invent. Invent now!
But no, the government has decided to focus its energies on children, with come-ons like, "have you been thinking about the next big thing in skateboards?" Sure, every self-respecting child has been thinking about the next big thing in skateboards, but to what end? Few children have drill presses or lathes in their workshops, few children know how to draft blueprints, and I feel comfortable saying that there will never be a "next big thing" in skateboards. They work fine already.
I think the website knows in its heart that children can't invent. Suggestions range from not-really-inventions ("Invent" a new sport! "Invent" a way to tell that spring is coming!) to the hilariously difficult ("A car that doesn't use gas." Hey GM: Invent now!). There's not much middle ground.
Bearing that in mind, and the likelihood that any child who does InventNow will be swallowed alive by patent attorneys, perhaps it would be safer for the wee ones to focus on the "trademark" side of the US Patent and Trademark Office. Have you been thinking about the next big thing in catch phrases?
posted by apk01004 at 5:07 PM
2 Comments:
My name is Seth Itow and I strongly disagree with your opinion that children cannot and will not invent things that will ever make store selves. I understand this is your opinion and I respect that however my generation will be the adults and inventorsb of the future. If our creative ideas are not supported now, when will they be supported? If our ideas are never supported, they will never become reality. If nothing new is invented, the human race will not survive.
Mr. Itow, you sound like someone who has been thinking -- perhaps a little too hard -- about the next big thing in skateboards. I commend your can-do spirit, nurtured and fostered by the Ad Council no doubt, and I only hope that you won't forget about us little people with bad attitudes.
I was just wondering if you could give us some actual examples of products invented by children. Particularly, and here I feel like I might be picking on you, ones that have furthered the survival of the human race?
Children can talk a good game, but when the government needs sarin or the A-bomb, where do they turn? The adults.
P.S. Do you realize that you could tattoo your full name on your knuckles, one letter per finger? You're a very lucky young man.
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