How to Make a Sandwich
It's not as easy as it looks. If you have ever had a great idea for a sandwich that did not work out you will understand me. Let's take a look at some of the more problematic sandwich ingredients.
Lettuce: All I can say about this one is don't put it on a sandwich if you can do without it. Nothing sticks to lettuce, and its crinkly slightly oily leaves guarantee that whatever you put on it will slide off. I am not sure if it is worse to have a sauce like mustard dripping off your lettuce leaves, or a more solid sandwich ingredient like onions. If you put something wet on it then the juice will cascade off the lettuce and down your arm.
If you absolutely have to use lettuce, try to put it on the bottom of your sandwich, on top of mayonnaise or something sticky, and below something large and dry and cohesive like sliced meat. And anyway lettuce doesn't taste like anything but of course you knew *that* before you tried to make the sandwich. If you want something tasteless and cold and wet on your sandwich I would recommend cucumbers since they are better than lettuce in every way.
Onions: It is not often recognized how hard it is to eat onions on a sandwich. First, the circular shape of onion slices does not lend itself to a sandwich that isn't exactly the same shape as the onion, and it is hard to arrange them such that each region of the sandwich has approximately the same amount of onion. Often you wind up overlapping the slices. Then it is guaranteed that they will slide off one another because they are wet and gooey and there is a lot of compression when you eat a sandwich.
Don't put onions on mayonnaise or mustard or they will slide out of your sandwich. Don't put onions on anything hard or they will pop out if you bite on them wrong. If you really want raw onions on your sandwich you can either embed them in something thick (marmite? butter? mashed avocado?) like bricks in mortar or put them on top of an open-faced sandwich. A better option is to use minced garlic. Alternatively, you could fry the onions and use them like any normal garnish item (pickles, peppers, etc.), but that might be too much work for a sandwich.
Meat: Meat choice for a sandwich is kind of tricky. You don't want anything too juicy, although if it is juicy like a hamburger, try to make sure that the hamburger patty is narrower than the bun, and directly above the bottom bun. Otherwise you will get meat all up your sleeve. Also make sure the bottom bun is thick enough. It never is when you buy a hamburger. (I always get better results turning the hamburger upside down and using the big top bun as a bottom.)
The trouble of course is that if the meat is not too drippy it is probably too dry. Do not put turkey on a sandwich or anywhere else near your mouth. Ditto the kind of roast beef you are likely to put on a sandwich. Most kinds of Italian salami are too leathery to eat on a sandwich easily. If you try to eat them you will pull the whole slice right out of the middle of the sandwich on the first bite. Unless you have better teeth than I do.
Good sandwich meat includes German or other soft salami, chicken (dark if possible), fish if it is arranged so that it doesn't matter if it falls apart, bacon that is not very well done, almost any kind of pork, and most organ meat. Sausages are just about the perfect meat, if you have bread that can accomodate them.
Bread: Bread can do several annoying things in a sandwich. It might crumble, leaving you with two impossible-to-hold little sandwiches. It might soak through really quickly and cover your hands with mayonnaise or meat drippings. It might repel all moisture and soak your hands some other way. It might be too hard to bite through which will spray your sandwich ingredients out laterally. Or it might be too soft and have the exact same effect. Probably a very light, fluffy, hamburger bun type roll is your best choice in general. If you want a chewier piece of bread that is your decision and I support you in it, but you are bound for trouble. Try not to use mayonnaise or avocados in that case.
Garnishes: Cheese, pickles, olives and peppers all behave basically the same in a sandwich. They slide around a lot, so try to stick them in something viscous, like mustard. Otherwise, they are soft and mostly dry, so go nuts. Tomatoes are unpleasant to eat in sandwiches. They give off a lot of water which has to go somewhere. Either put them directly above bread, get used to a drippy sandwich, or substitute ketchup. Avocados are useful because they can double as a very thick sauce if you mush them up before hand (recommended). Place awkward sandwich items in them. Don't use them with hard bread or they will squish outward very quickly.
Sauces: Mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup are the main sauces you will probably want to use. Vinegar can be nice if you use very small amounts but it won't stick to anything but bread and it will make that soggy. Oil too. Try to soak them into the top slice of bread before you assemble the sandwich. If you are using mayonnaise try to put it on the bottom, as it tends to drip. Be sure the bread is absorbant. Mustard and ketchup, depending on the brand, can probably go higher in the sandwich. Try not to put one sauce directly on top of another. That just looks cheap.
Lettuce: All I can say about this one is don't put it on a sandwich if you can do without it. Nothing sticks to lettuce, and its crinkly slightly oily leaves guarantee that whatever you put on it will slide off. I am not sure if it is worse to have a sauce like mustard dripping off your lettuce leaves, or a more solid sandwich ingredient like onions. If you put something wet on it then the juice will cascade off the lettuce and down your arm.
If you absolutely have to use lettuce, try to put it on the bottom of your sandwich, on top of mayonnaise or something sticky, and below something large and dry and cohesive like sliced meat. And anyway lettuce doesn't taste like anything but of course you knew *that* before you tried to make the sandwich. If you want something tasteless and cold and wet on your sandwich I would recommend cucumbers since they are better than lettuce in every way.
Onions: It is not often recognized how hard it is to eat onions on a sandwich. First, the circular shape of onion slices does not lend itself to a sandwich that isn't exactly the same shape as the onion, and it is hard to arrange them such that each region of the sandwich has approximately the same amount of onion. Often you wind up overlapping the slices. Then it is guaranteed that they will slide off one another because they are wet and gooey and there is a lot of compression when you eat a sandwich.
Don't put onions on mayonnaise or mustard or they will slide out of your sandwich. Don't put onions on anything hard or they will pop out if you bite on them wrong. If you really want raw onions on your sandwich you can either embed them in something thick (marmite? butter? mashed avocado?) like bricks in mortar or put them on top of an open-faced sandwich. A better option is to use minced garlic. Alternatively, you could fry the onions and use them like any normal garnish item (pickles, peppers, etc.), but that might be too much work for a sandwich.
Meat: Meat choice for a sandwich is kind of tricky. You don't want anything too juicy, although if it is juicy like a hamburger, try to make sure that the hamburger patty is narrower than the bun, and directly above the bottom bun. Otherwise you will get meat all up your sleeve. Also make sure the bottom bun is thick enough. It never is when you buy a hamburger. (I always get better results turning the hamburger upside down and using the big top bun as a bottom.)
The trouble of course is that if the meat is not too drippy it is probably too dry. Do not put turkey on a sandwich or anywhere else near your mouth. Ditto the kind of roast beef you are likely to put on a sandwich. Most kinds of Italian salami are too leathery to eat on a sandwich easily. If you try to eat them you will pull the whole slice right out of the middle of the sandwich on the first bite. Unless you have better teeth than I do.
Good sandwich meat includes German or other soft salami, chicken (dark if possible), fish if it is arranged so that it doesn't matter if it falls apart, bacon that is not very well done, almost any kind of pork, and most organ meat. Sausages are just about the perfect meat, if you have bread that can accomodate them.
Bread: Bread can do several annoying things in a sandwich. It might crumble, leaving you with two impossible-to-hold little sandwiches. It might soak through really quickly and cover your hands with mayonnaise or meat drippings. It might repel all moisture and soak your hands some other way. It might be too hard to bite through which will spray your sandwich ingredients out laterally. Or it might be too soft and have the exact same effect. Probably a very light, fluffy, hamburger bun type roll is your best choice in general. If you want a chewier piece of bread that is your decision and I support you in it, but you are bound for trouble. Try not to use mayonnaise or avocados in that case.
Garnishes: Cheese, pickles, olives and peppers all behave basically the same in a sandwich. They slide around a lot, so try to stick them in something viscous, like mustard. Otherwise, they are soft and mostly dry, so go nuts. Tomatoes are unpleasant to eat in sandwiches. They give off a lot of water which has to go somewhere. Either put them directly above bread, get used to a drippy sandwich, or substitute ketchup. Avocados are useful because they can double as a very thick sauce if you mush them up before hand (recommended). Place awkward sandwich items in them. Don't use them with hard bread or they will squish outward very quickly.
Sauces: Mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup are the main sauces you will probably want to use. Vinegar can be nice if you use very small amounts but it won't stick to anything but bread and it will make that soggy. Oil too. Try to soak them into the top slice of bread before you assemble the sandwich. If you are using mayonnaise try to put it on the bottom, as it tends to drip. Be sure the bread is absorbant. Mustard and ketchup, depending on the brand, can probably go higher in the sandwich. Try not to put one sauce directly on top of another. That just looks cheap.
posted by apk01004 at 9:09 PM
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