Kleptomania

Oprah was on a jag today about kleptomania. Interestingly she went through the whole part of the show that I watched without actually using the term. Since there is no actual synonym for "kleptomania" this required some dancing, of doubtful purpose. Anyway. I don't watch Oprah a lot (no really) and this was easily the third episode I have seen on kleptomania. Oprah didn't let that bother her though, as she was as ignorant ("You can just stop whenever you want, right?") as ever.

The people on the show were pretty torn up about their kleptomania. I guess that is because they were religious and had some kind of moral hang-up about shoplifting. Now I'm not going to go advocating murder here but it seems like shoplifting is a pretty victimless crime. Well, almost a victimless crime, and certainly not worth getting torn up over. Especially if you have a deep-seated compulsion to do it.

If these kleptomaniacs are worried about getting caught, they shouldn't be. As Oprah so counterproductively demonstrated, it is almost impossible to be arrested for shoplifting. The women on her show who were caught were caught after 25 years. They claimed to be relieved.

I only wish I had kleptomania. Think about it. It is a compulsion to do something lucrative. Alcoholism or drug addiction should be so beneficial. Kleptomanics come out ahead and that tears them up. Losers.