Worst of 2006
Runner up: Tan bricks
It seems like every new housing development (each house with 2-car garage and detached 4-car garage) is made out of tan bricks. Now maybe tan bricks are cheaper. I don't know; all that red pigment in real bricks has to come from somewhere and cost something. But these are the kinds of houses that rich people have to live in, and the rest of us have to look at. Don't they want their houses to look good? Don't they think tan is a terrible color for anything? The pale mortar makes their houses look even more sick. And yet tan brick houses continue to gain ground on the red brick ones. I hope this trend reverses in 2007, but I'm not holding my breath.
Winner: Water
Seriously, how can people put this stuff in their bodies? Actually, water tastes better than some things people drink; better water than salty-licorice vodka. But the thing about water is, you're expected to drink so much of it. 64 ounces a day, they say, and if you can't choke them down, you're a moral failure. And it's not really enough to drink it. You have to like it. Some people claim that they never want anything but water. I'm not sure if they're lying, but they are disgusting.
Water tastes bitter. It's odd to think of such a simple chemical having a characteristic taste, but water honestly tastes bitter. Lots of people, as I say, like bitter things, but nobody likes them that much. Go ahead and eat 4 pounds of coffee beans a day, and see if you still want the staple of your diet to be bitter. Even worse, water is hypotonic. If you drink a lot of water -- enough to quench your thirst, for instance -- you are going to get a huge gastrointestinal problem as all that water leaches through your membranes and thins down your blood.
Yes, in prehistoric times people drank water. They had nothing better. In prehistoric times, people ate and drank whatever they could get their hands on, no matter how icky it really was. That's how it is when you're next to starvation, but in 2006 there was orange juice, Coca-Cola, root beer, apple cider and soda water. How about a New Year's Resolution, people? In 2007, don't drink water unless you're desperate, an ascetic, or a zoo animal. I think you'll find that life really can be wonderful.
It seems like every new housing development (each house with 2-car garage and detached 4-car garage) is made out of tan bricks. Now maybe tan bricks are cheaper. I don't know; all that red pigment in real bricks has to come from somewhere and cost something. But these are the kinds of houses that rich people have to live in, and the rest of us have to look at. Don't they want their houses to look good? Don't they think tan is a terrible color for anything? The pale mortar makes their houses look even more sick. And yet tan brick houses continue to gain ground on the red brick ones. I hope this trend reverses in 2007, but I'm not holding my breath.
Winner: Water
Seriously, how can people put this stuff in their bodies? Actually, water tastes better than some things people drink; better water than salty-licorice vodka. But the thing about water is, you're expected to drink so much of it. 64 ounces a day, they say, and if you can't choke them down, you're a moral failure. And it's not really enough to drink it. You have to like it. Some people claim that they never want anything but water. I'm not sure if they're lying, but they are disgusting.
Water tastes bitter. It's odd to think of such a simple chemical having a characteristic taste, but water honestly tastes bitter. Lots of people, as I say, like bitter things, but nobody likes them that much. Go ahead and eat 4 pounds of coffee beans a day, and see if you still want the staple of your diet to be bitter. Even worse, water is hypotonic. If you drink a lot of water -- enough to quench your thirst, for instance -- you are going to get a huge gastrointestinal problem as all that water leaches through your membranes and thins down your blood.
Yes, in prehistoric times people drank water. They had nothing better. In prehistoric times, people ate and drank whatever they could get their hands on, no matter how icky it really was. That's how it is when you're next to starvation, but in 2006 there was orange juice, Coca-Cola, root beer, apple cider and soda water. How about a New Year's Resolution, people? In 2007, don't drink water unless you're desperate, an ascetic, or a zoo animal. I think you'll find that life really can be wonderful.
posted by apk01004 at 6:44 PM
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