For Your Health

As summer rolls around again, the New York Times is looking out for us by reminding us to put some damn shoes on. Aren't people in the city supposed to be pretty with-it? I don't think I like the idea that I'm going to be living among 8 million man-children who can't even remember that stuff can be pointy:

"Grass can be sharp enough to cut... said Dr. Hellman."

Personally, I never take off my shoes if I can help it. I like to think of my shoes as where my feet live, and it's just safer for them at home. I know what happened to Calvin Coolidge Jr. That grass can be pretty sharp.

Olivia be Not Proud

Coolest Dad Ever, If True

It said on CNN today that Warren Jeffs, leader of the fundamentalist Mormon church, does not allow toys on his compound. He does, however, allow trampolines.

I regret that I cannot offer any better sourcing on this.

Don't Pretend You Could Do Better

I don't think I could ever head-butt someone, because I'd be too afraid of accidentally using my face. Sure, you practice it in your mind every day, but in the heat of the moment, how can you be sure you're not just going to mash your face into someone else's? Maybe it's because I'm taller than most people, and not angled right to hit people with my forehead, but leave it to the professionals, I say; you're just going to break your nose.