Eat of This Candy, For it is My Body

... and we're back. The most important news of the last month, I'm sure you'll agree, is that Necco Wafers are switching to an "all-natural" composition. This is no small feat for a candy that could plausibly be mined from chalk seams or deposits in alkali flats, but if the accompanying photo is any guide, Necco Wafers have actually become more pallid and unreal with the change. Any candy that comes in shades of brown and gray is going to resemble mineral more than vegetable, but when Necco Wafers become pale brown and pale gray, eating them edges one step closer to pica.