I Love America

Well lots of people love America, and if I ever want to enter politics I had better love America too. I have no political-type objection to loving America, unlike so many others. The trouble is, I don't know what it is to love America. I know how to love people, and activities, and things-that-I-can-appreciate-all-at-once and stuff like that. But what is it to love America? Some possibilities:

• Loving the American government. That is, loving the individual politicians, policemen, soldiers and bureaucrats who make it up.
• Loving the actions of the American government (rather than just the members of the government themselves).
• Loving the American Constitution. I guess this would mean favoring the Bill of Rights, thinking that our tricameral system of government is a good idea, and enjoying the political process.
• Loving American principles. Here again, what is it to love a principle? I guess it comes down to preferring to be free (rather than the alternative), preferring a fair system of justice, liking economic opportunity (rather than strict castes), and other values traditionally associated with America.
• Loving symbols of Americana. Is loving America just loving Mom and apple pie and fireworks and baseball and Abraham Lincoln and the Statue of Liberty?
• Loving every square inch of American territory, the shape of America, and American geographical features.
• Nothing. It's just empty language that we have agreed not to call one another on.

So which is it, kids? The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can make my triumphant entry into politics. I have some big ideas for this country.