Better Flags

The American flag is not a very good flag. It has a picture of the sky on it. I didn't think the sky was one of our national symbols. Try saying it: "Each state is a star in our national sky." Does that sound like something an American would say? Let's try not to confuse the themes of our national narrative, people. The thirteen stripes are bad too. They're supposed to represent the original thirteen colonies, but it's not like those colonies are considered special in any other way. They don't each get an extra Senator. Each state ought to be honored equally for its decision to join the union. Back when the nation was founded, of course, the thirteen stripes stood for all thirteen states, but as we added more states and added more stars, we did not add more stripes. "F" for inconsistency. Also, the flag is so awfully busy. With that in mind, let's look at some redesigned Old Glories.

First, there's the option of just removing the stars. They do clutter it up, and you can still imagine the blue field as a night sky, if you believe the founding fathers were Zoroastrians or something. Just, like, an overcast night sky. I think this one is my favorite.



Or, because there are no longer 50 stars, and something has to be 50, why not 50 stripes? This was not my idea. It looks better than I expected, but too much like clothing. One problem, of course, is that either the top or bottom stripe has to be white, which might look strange. Also, the 7/6 ratio of top height to bottom height has to be abandoned, so it's a little lopsided. This has 27 short stripes and 23 long ones. Looked at from a distance, all the stripes seem to blend together, so why not...



A pink flag? I put the stars back, because a flag that's just pink and blue is a little dull. Even so, it might look better with fewer stars. Other than 13 and 50 though, what number is symbolic of America? They're nice colors, but I don't think it will ever catch on. Adoption of this flag is probably on the homosexual agenda somewhere.