"If you look to your left, you will see a sad man."

Because politicians are fun people about whom we deserve to know more, I'm going to lurch into "Campaign 2008 Biography" mode. So strap in, because we are going to profile the less-loved presidential candidates as they make themselves known. I already mentioned Tommy Thompson and Tom Daschle, but I missed Duncan Hunter and Mike Gravel. So let me just note that Hunter's PAC is called "Peace through Strength," an illustration of the fact that "X through Y" constructions are always fascist. And Mike Gravel's Wikipedia photo is killer.

But Dennis Kucinich is the reason for the series. I can understand hating his platform. It's pretty far out, my friends, and I say this as someone who presses the far out to his breast. But to hate Dennis Kucinich? Impossible. Between his monkey-like appearence, his monkey-like speaking voice, and his complete indifference to the complete indifference of the world, Dennis Kucinich is someone you just want to pick up and put in your pocket.

At least he finally found a wife, putting an end to one of the most painful chapters of political history, the date-Dennis-Kucinich contest of 2004. I am a sentimental boy, and I feel like crying when I think of that. I voted for him in the 2004 primary election, mostly because I felt sorry for him. Campaigning all year, nobody to love him, his best political days long behind, the poorest man in the House-- It tears your heart up, it really does.

I'll probably be voting for him in 2008, if he goes the distance (which he will. Dennis Kucinich is not a quitter.) Who else would I vote for? John Kerry may be sadder in his own way, but he's so monumental. He doesn't need me, or you. Kucinich seems so much more approachable, and he needs a political friend so badly. I am hereby announcing my pick for '08 (provisional). I hope you will join me on his bandwagon. "Dennis Kucinich for President: He seriously looks like he could break down in tears at any moment."