Some Stars, And the Diseases They Would Treat If They Were Drugs

Etamin: Birth control
Altair: Seasonal nasal allergies
Bellatrix: Women's sexual dysfunction (as seen in spam ads)
Girtab: Epilepsy
Aludra: Incontinence
Kappa Velorum: Memory loss*
Procyon: HIV
Gacrux: Bacterial infection (antibiotic)
Miaplacidus: Muscle relaxant
Avior A: Asthma (over-the-counter version)

*The FDA has not evaluated these claims. This product is not intended to treat, cure or prevent any diseases.