Campaign Blogger

If you've been following the news and the internet at the same time, you probably know there was a flap about some "campaign bloggers" for some presidential candidate or another. Words were said, feelings were hurt, but at the end of the day, we all learned a lesson and had a metaphorical, political hug.

One question lingers though. "Campaign blogger"? Is this a necessary part of a campaign apparatus? I don't go to candidates' websites. Nobody goes to candidates' websites. Who goes to their websites? Only wieners. This is a transparent attempt to look cool, and I am not interested. In 20 years, we are going to wonder how we could be so faddish, and it is mostly your fault, John Edwards.

Or maybe the campaign sideshow paradigm needs to go still farther. Maybe Barack Obama needs a Campaign Molecular Gastronomer. Mitt Romney is way ahead of us with the MySpace page, but perhaps Giuliani can catch up with a Campaign Flickr page (featuring mostly baby animals.)

What about in the past? Would Al Gore have pulled it off if he had had a Campaign Reality TV Show? I think John Anderson could have improved his chances with a Campaign Arcade Game. Did Thomas Jefferson have a Campaign Pamphleteer? Was he censured by the Federalist press for using foul language? Those pamphleteers, man. It's almost not worth hiring them, with all the oppo research Adams' people do.