I'm A Bad Doctor
I forgot to tell you! My keyboard broke last night. About 9 o'clock I was spinning around in the spinning chair, having a great time, when I somehow knocked over the Coca-Cola splash into the keyboard. At first it was pretty good. The mouse plugs into the keyboard, which plugs into the monitor which plugs into the tower.* When I spilled the cola into the keyboard, the mouse went out. These are the kind of conditions I have to live under.
Well I got tired of that soon (I don't know any of the keyboard shortcuts for Macintoshes*). So I decided to cure it. I unplugged the keyboard and ran the keyboard under water for a few minutes. I subjected it to the healing power of Jesus. I shook it out, and let it dry for a little while, and even ran a hair dryer over it, which just goes to show how seriously I take my profession.
My thinking was, it was just sugar atoms in there that were shorting everything out and if you wash them out, the keyboard would be as good as new. Once the water dried. It's not like the keyboard is water soluble. The water gushes in, the water evaporates, everything is as it was. Right?
I plugged it back in and the mouse was working again. But the A key and the S key were out. I think a few others were. Maybe the C key and some really useless ones like Z and tab. I'm strong. I can survive without the amenities but it is really hard to type anything without S. It's a much more essential letter than A, which I wouldn't have guessed before. Especially for short memos. It's impossible to type anything useful without either.
I got tired of that too, so back in the water. Fwoosh! I dried it out again. I thought maybe it wasn't dry enough, so I took off some of the screws and ran the hair dryer inside. Put it back together, marshalling the little plastic bits (that make the keys spring back up -- they are free floating in there and scatter everywhere if you open the keyboard*) inside with a pair of glasses as a hook. By this point the keyboard was very clean.
When I went to use it again, every key was out. The G printed 4's, the K printed 7's, the 4 printed two 0's (?) and the tilde was the new Enter. The mouse still worked though. Apparently mouse circuits aren't water soluble even if the rest are. I conversed in this vein for a little while (lots of 4's and cut-and-paste text from other sources) and went to bed.
Then today there was keyboard buying. I found out that A) almost nobody makes keyboards for Macintoshes* and B) almost everybody makes keyboards that cost a hundred and fifty dollars. One of these keyboards had a little LCD screen on it. I am not sure what the screen was for. I was also not able to tell the function of any of the other dozens of buttons that were on these keyboards but are not on mine. I am not able to imagine what they could be for. You are probably able to imagine the boring rest of the story.
*Ask me why I hate Macs.
Well I got tired of that soon (I don't know any of the keyboard shortcuts for Macintoshes*). So I decided to cure it. I unplugged the keyboard and ran the keyboard under water for a few minutes. I subjected it to the healing power of Jesus. I shook it out, and let it dry for a little while, and even ran a hair dryer over it, which just goes to show how seriously I take my profession.
My thinking was, it was just sugar atoms in there that were shorting everything out and if you wash them out, the keyboard would be as good as new. Once the water dried. It's not like the keyboard is water soluble. The water gushes in, the water evaporates, everything is as it was. Right?
I plugged it back in and the mouse was working again. But the A key and the S key were out. I think a few others were. Maybe the C key and some really useless ones like Z and tab. I'm strong. I can survive without the amenities but it is really hard to type anything without S. It's a much more essential letter than A, which I wouldn't have guessed before. Especially for short memos. It's impossible to type anything useful without either.
I got tired of that too, so back in the water. Fwoosh! I dried it out again. I thought maybe it wasn't dry enough, so I took off some of the screws and ran the hair dryer inside. Put it back together, marshalling the little plastic bits (that make the keys spring back up -- they are free floating in there and scatter everywhere if you open the keyboard*) inside with a pair of glasses as a hook. By this point the keyboard was very clean.
When I went to use it again, every key was out. The G printed 4's, the K printed 7's, the 4 printed two 0's (?) and the tilde was the new Enter. The mouse still worked though. Apparently mouse circuits aren't water soluble even if the rest are. I conversed in this vein for a little while (lots of 4's and cut-and-paste text from other sources) and went to bed.
Then today there was keyboard buying. I found out that A) almost nobody makes keyboards for Macintoshes* and B) almost everybody makes keyboards that cost a hundred and fifty dollars. One of these keyboards had a little LCD screen on it. I am not sure what the screen was for. I was also not able to tell the function of any of the other dozens of buttons that were on these keyboards but are not on mine. I am not able to imagine what they could be for. You are probably able to imagine the boring rest of the story.
*Ask me why I hate Macs.
posted by apk01004 at 11:18 PM
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