Monetary Value of My Senses, Part Four: Touch
This will definitely be the hardest entry in Monetary Value of My Senses yet. All the other senses are well-defined. There is no confusion about what is seeing and what is not. Touch, however, kind of shades off at the ends. Is the sense of hunger a kind of tactile sense? How about balance? We will split vaguely touchy senses into two groups. This, part four, will be senses that are definitely in the "touch" category. The next installment will be for more somatic senses. Here we go.
1) Sense of heat and cold. I like this sense. Do you know why? Because it doesn't really work. Not at the extremes. Have you ever turned on the hot water tap and thought you were turning on the cold water tap? Then you stuck your hand in and thought my but the cold water is cold today. Then ouch. This is actually most fun when it happens to other people.
For less extreme temperature differences I really don't see the use of this sense. I know it is cold if I am shivering. I know it is hot if I am sweating. Unless I am in danger of frostbite, heatstroke, hypothermia or "prickly heat" I don't really want to know whether I am hot or cold. Being hot is uncomfortable and being cold is very uncomfortable.
I could do without this sense if I had one of those really good thermometers. The kind that don't break when you drop them, because man do I drop things a lot. They make some pretty good thermometers these days, right? On the other hand, as with all of these tactile senses, being without them would be truly weird. I don't like cold sweats and warm shivers as it is, and a lifetime of them would be a little nightmarish. $5 million
2) Sense of pain. Oo boy. Pain is really bad as we all know. It is what the honeybees rely on, and the grizzly bears in their own way. It is kind of important, though. We all read those tragic stories about the little children who can't feel pain and have to be constantly watched lest they go to bed askew or jab themselves with pins or something. I think you can read that in Parade Magazine about once every 4 weeks.
You never read articles about adults like that. Either these people all die young, or they all get used to it and lead fulfilling lives. I feel like it would be much easier to adapt to painlessness if I were already an adult when it happened. I already know what not to do. I am not sure what you do about cutting off your own circulation while you're asleep, but I am sure there is a solution there to be found, somewhere.
And come on. Living a life without pain would be awesome. You know it. I know it. It is a little unnerving to have dental surgery and receive novocaine injections and watch the needle go into your gums deeper deeper and still not hurt -- but none of us wants to do without the novocaine. My sense of pain is worth negative 1 million dollars to me; it is a liability.
3) Sensitivity to pressure. This is the main one, the sense whereby we can tell that we are touching things. Can you imagine an inability to sense when you are touching something? I guess it would be like if your foot fell asleep? But really badly? And no tingling? And instead of your foot, your whole body? I can't imagine what that would be like. Not at all. I guess it would be a little like being one of those huge fat men who spends his whole life in bed? Because you're not getting much done outside of bed without this sense no sir. Still this is too weird to imagine. Any number I could throw out would be a wild guess. Um a hundred million dollars?
4) Ability to sense the alignment of my limbs in space. Is this a real sense? I'm going to throw it in here because this section is looking a little thin and anyway I am sure you are dying to know how much my ability to pick my nose is worth to me. The answer? 20 million dollars. Happy?
1) Sense of heat and cold. I like this sense. Do you know why? Because it doesn't really work. Not at the extremes. Have you ever turned on the hot water tap and thought you were turning on the cold water tap? Then you stuck your hand in and thought my but the cold water is cold today. Then ouch. This is actually most fun when it happens to other people.
For less extreme temperature differences I really don't see the use of this sense. I know it is cold if I am shivering. I know it is hot if I am sweating. Unless I am in danger of frostbite, heatstroke, hypothermia or "prickly heat" I don't really want to know whether I am hot or cold. Being hot is uncomfortable and being cold is very uncomfortable.
I could do without this sense if I had one of those really good thermometers. The kind that don't break when you drop them, because man do I drop things a lot. They make some pretty good thermometers these days, right? On the other hand, as with all of these tactile senses, being without them would be truly weird. I don't like cold sweats and warm shivers as it is, and a lifetime of them would be a little nightmarish. $5 million
2) Sense of pain. Oo boy. Pain is really bad as we all know. It is what the honeybees rely on, and the grizzly bears in their own way. It is kind of important, though. We all read those tragic stories about the little children who can't feel pain and have to be constantly watched lest they go to bed askew or jab themselves with pins or something. I think you can read that in Parade Magazine about once every 4 weeks.
You never read articles about adults like that. Either these people all die young, or they all get used to it and lead fulfilling lives. I feel like it would be much easier to adapt to painlessness if I were already an adult when it happened. I already know what not to do. I am not sure what you do about cutting off your own circulation while you're asleep, but I am sure there is a solution there to be found, somewhere.
And come on. Living a life without pain would be awesome. You know it. I know it. It is a little unnerving to have dental surgery and receive novocaine injections and watch the needle go into your gums deeper deeper and still not hurt -- but none of us wants to do without the novocaine. My sense of pain is worth negative 1 million dollars to me; it is a liability.
3) Sensitivity to pressure. This is the main one, the sense whereby we can tell that we are touching things. Can you imagine an inability to sense when you are touching something? I guess it would be like if your foot fell asleep? But really badly? And no tingling? And instead of your foot, your whole body? I can't imagine what that would be like. Not at all. I guess it would be a little like being one of those huge fat men who spends his whole life in bed? Because you're not getting much done outside of bed without this sense no sir. Still this is too weird to imagine. Any number I could throw out would be a wild guess. Um a hundred million dollars?
4) Ability to sense the alignment of my limbs in space. Is this a real sense? I'm going to throw it in here because this section is looking a little thin and anyway I am sure you are dying to know how much my ability to pick my nose is worth to me. The answer? 20 million dollars. Happy?
posted by apk01004 at 2:04 AM
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